Friends,
Today could definitely be worse, but already today I am facing two confrontational conversations at work. These are uncomfortable conversations that need to happen. One involved helping another person understand his available resources. I am not, nor am I willing to be, his only source for help. Someone else has been hired and is being paid to do these types of things for him.
The other I need to face later today. It involves a certain amount of censure. My intention is to not coddle this undergraduate student, but to be very plain and direct about what was done wrong, what our expectations are, and what will happen if something doesn't change.
My nature is to gently broach the subject, but make sure what I'm saying is clear. Then afterwards I try to be extra specially nice, but not in a fake way- just in my normal way. I do this to make sure the person understands that I am not upset but that I am trying to communicate that there is a problem and what I believe could be a solution.
What advice do you have for being prepared for these types of conversations? I want to go into them with a sure plan, not all crazy and emotional-like. Do you think there is anything I should do differently?
5 comments:
I love the phrase "managing expectations" because it always puts me in the mindframe I need to have for these types of conversations: reorients me towards thinking about my upcoming conversations as just aligning this person's expectations with mine, which I have the right to do. And because I am a caring person, I plan on ending the conversation with checking back in with them to see if their expectations have changed. If they repeat back to me what I'm looking for, great. conversation's over. If they're still thinking the issue is something else, then we get to keep going. You're gonna do great, Maggie. Keep in mind what you want to accomplish by having these conversations and go get it!
I hope you made it through--this made me anxious just READING what you were facing! I for one read a ridiculous amount of advice columns because I hate confrontation and get nervous and teary-eyed even if there's no cause for tears. I think writing down facts--not feelings!!!--in a list and practicing them a few times helps keep emotion at bay. A calm voice and NO mention of feelings (just facts!) are both empowering. It's hard and intimidating to be female and be no-nonsense in a business setting without being unkind. At least, it is for me. (Who am I kidding? It's hard ANYTIME!)
I want to know how it went. I am sure it went fine, you are a classy and incredibly intelligent woman.
Oh I hate this kind of thing! I always get flustered, cry, or worse, end up saying, "it's okay, not your fault" and taking the blame upon myself. I'm such a pushover! I hope it went okay!
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