a lump in the throat. that's how I know I really mean it.

I've had a lot of requests to update my blog lately. Sorry I'm so boring.

I have a lot on my mind tonight. Do you ever get the feeling that facebook and blogs are just a vehicle for bragging? I kind of do. Like, I only update my status when I'm doing something really awesome. I'm totally bragging about how awesome my life is, right? I get a lot of comments like, "So jealous!" and "Your life is from a movie!" and these come from people I love and admire so much and who are doing far better things with their lives than I. I get embarrassed when that happens and I feel guilty. It makes me want to write back and say, "actually I'm just filling my life with activities with friends because I don't have a family to share them with." I do enjoy my life a lot right now and I love doing fun things, and it's alright to have a little bit of money to buy a treat, see a movie, or buy a new kind of makeup. But actually I would really like to have a meaningful person in my life. I'd rather go on a walk and spend no money at all with someone I love than go to a fancy restaurant with a bunch of girlfriends.

I have felt really, really close to the spirit over the past few weeks. I have seen some miracles in my life lately. Here are some things that have really helped me: Listening to the testimonies of my friends and ward members, studying the Old Testament and learning from the examples in the scriptures, letting the scriptures speak to me, paying attention to promptings, obeying promptings, trusting in the Lord and the priesthood, and believing in the Atonement.

I had a dream last night that I taught President Obama about the principle of eternal marriage. In my dream a small group was invited to sit in a room with the President and talk about anything, chat really. He turned to me and asked, "Maggie, do you believe in eternal love?" I hesitated because I couldn't figure out how I wanted to answer his question. In my dream the connotation of the question was more like, can a marriage really last without ending in divorce? Can love last? I knew that was what he was asking and I thought about answering it by saying something like, "Love and relationships require effort and work." But in my dream I didn't want to answer it that way. I wanted to teach the President about eternal marriage, so I said, "I believe that we have the opportunity to be married for eternity. Not until death do us part. This must be done with the proper priesthood authority, which indeed has been restored to the earth." Something like that. In my dream it was an elegant, articulate sentence with no "ums" or "ahs." I was proud of myself.

Yesterday I taught a man about our church. I was waiting (3 hours! ugh.) for an oil change and I was killing time at the grocery store, but trying not to buy too much because I would have to walk a ways with my groceries. I was moseying around and just looking at all the fish at the fish counter. The guy behind the counter asked me if I needed anything. I said no. He asked me if I liked fish. I said yes. He asked me what kind. I said any kind as long as it was cooked well. He asked if I come there often. I said yes. He told me he hadn't seen me before. He asked me if my pearl earrings were real. I said no. He asked me if I had a busy week ahead of me. I said yes. He asked me what I'm up to this weekend. I said I was running errands. He asked me what I'm doing tomorrow. I said I'm going to church.

He asked me what church I go to and I told him the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He asked me if I went to the Kingdom Hall on 495. I said yes the Temple belongs to my church. He asked what we believe in. I told him our church is centered on Jesus Christ. We study his life and teachings and we try to be like him. We believe that we have the opportunity to be with our families forever. Not till death do us part. He told me he doesn't believe in heaven or hell and that after we die if someone didn't live a good life we wouldn't even remember that they existed. I told him that we are held accountable for our every action. There are consequences for every action whether they are good or bad. We must work out our salvation.

A lady came to the counter to order a piece of tilapia. "Just one. For me," she said.

I pulled out a little pass along card with a picture of the Washington DC Temple on it. On the back is all the information for the visitor center. I invited him to bring his family and to see it for himself and to learn more. Then I shook his hand, said nice to meet you James and walked away. Later that night I thought, I should have told him about modern day prophets.

I'm concerned about the state of marriage in the world's eyes. I agree with many of the viewpoints in this opinion piece from a prominent preacher in the DC area who is no stranger to the marriage debates. I'm glad my girl Erin shared it on her blog. But really, I think this has all the answers. What if we spent less time defending marriage between a man and a woman and more time teaching about eternal marriage through the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ? I understand the milk before the meat thing, so I really am just asking, you know? But I think it could really make a difference.

Here's my simplistic thought on this debate: We must live according to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. We must teach it to people who do not know. Only the Gospel has the answers. I know it's too simple and not realistic, but it's true. We have a responsibility to teach this message.